You know those days when you are just in a funk and you don’t know why?  Yeah, that’s kind of how the last few days, weeks, months have been for me.  I am caught in the middle of wanting to get so much done because I have the time & not wanting to do anything because I don’t know how exactly to plan for the unknown.  In January I booked an awesome Santa for this year’s Holiday Sessions, I ordered naughty & nice list certificates to give the kids, I bought my backdrops…I was way ahead of the game.  Then Covid hit, I shifted into super mom & wife mode and we as a family hunkered down and rode out the lockdown.  I for some odd reason thrived during this time.  Our normally busy schedule came to a screeching halt and I LOVED it!  I cooked like I hadn’t in a long time, each meal was better than the last, each day had new possibilities that come from just being still.  Board games, dinner table discussions & meals at regular hours became the new norm for us.  I loved just being present.  Sure I had goals of getting lots of the admin type stuff done, but with sessions being cancelled, I was able to just focus on family & not feel guilty about my to do list looming.  Now, as things start to open back up, I am loving photographing babies & mamas again. I am now working  with a new set of precautions so I can keep my clients as well as my family safe.  As we are all trying to navigate the new world we live in, there is lots of self doubt that comes along with each choice.  The feelings of doubt creep into every decision that we are making.  Do I open, do I plan for the holidays, wait…will there be another lock down as soon as everything’s starts going back to normal.  Am I prepared?  Will it be worse, will my kids go to school, will they stay home, am I being selfish if I want to keep them home?  It’s real, so real that you can’t go on social media without seeing hundreds of parents making the same plea.  The choices we have to make seem so daunting.  It’s almost like we’re getting ready for a huge party the we don’t even know we want to go to, when it is,  if we were even invited & if it’s going to just be cancelled anyways.  Its exhausting but I am doing my best and you probably are too.  Show grace to others